How I prepare for war - and this is what you can do too: My 15 years of experience from living in the heart of the war in Lebanon

A few months ago, I attended a live theatre show for the podcast " Veldheren". The english translation of the podcast name is " Fieldlords." 

During the show, I found myself seated uncomfortably in a balcony seat. I felt cramped due to limited leg space. Never mind that I already have short legs.

 The stage is to my left it means I have to turn my upper body towards the speakers... I do not recommend it. Despite the discomfort, I am eager to understand the purpose of the show.

This specific live theatre show focuses on answering listeners questions. The questions are about the war in the Unkraine, what it means to Europe and to the world. the speakers have expertise and experience. The gathered audience vary from students, to middle-aged people, and retirees. They are mostly white Dutch citizens. They know about war from their parents and grandparent's World War II stories and others from more curiosity and research.

The podcast “veldheren” or "Fieldlords." Is presented by Peter van Uhm and Mart de Kruif, both retired generals, they explain in details how war works. 

They focus on military issues, geopolitics, and international security. Mart de Kruif served as a lieutenant general in the Dutch Army and was the commander of the Royal Netherlands Army. Peter van Uhm served as a general and was the highest-ranking military officer in the Netherlands, the Chief of Defence.

These two top military figures dissect the biggest war in Europe since 1945 on the podcast. They discuss the war in Ukraine and its implications for Europe and the world. Additionally, they cover some military perspectives on the conflict in Gaza.   

To my surprise, many questions from the audience focuse on what steps to take if war starts in Europe. They also ask how people could live and survive in their daily lives in such times. Though I trusted the experts' answers on stage,

I am anxious and hesitant to share my own experiences or ask further questions. I feel intimidated by the mostly white male audience. They exude an air of privilege and opulence in their attire.

While I am sinking in my anxiety, I am answering their question in my head.

The heck I am, I am even making a story in my head. And my war survival tips to them would start like this: 

Getting to know our neighbors. Building relationships with those around us, including local store employees, is essential. Talking with others fosters understanding and support. These are vital for survival in hard times.

Knowing our neighbors' circumstances is crucial. This includes health issues and caregiving duties. It's important for community resilience. Unity and cooperation among neighbors prevent discord. This is smart during crises. From experience, I say, no one wants to enter in a conflict with his next door neighbor in times of war. It is dangereous because it can get you killed or kidnapped.

So do not hesitate to talk about these things with the parents of your children best friends. Or with the parent from the football team when they practice. The bigger the network of connection is the bigger the chance to be strong and safe.

And as much as we want to protect our children from bad news, We must teach them emergency procedures to help keep themselves safe. So does making support networks with other families. These things boost readiness and resilience.

Also, keeping important documents like passports, cash money and emergency papers that is easy to find and grab is vital. Think of it like the emergency hospital bag that a pregnant women would have ready at her front door to grab and go . 

I tell you, my parents have secured such a briefcase with our important documents. It includes names of trusted people, phone numbers, and addresses. Mom and dad gathered more personal documents in the suitcase. They include birth certificates and identity cards. My mother, bless her heart, also includes a few cherished family photos. This briefcase accompanie us wherever we go, from one shelter to another.

At a certain moment, and when we realize this war is going to last longer, my parents along with five or six other families, chose to seek refuge and settle in one place. We chose one of the largest apartments in our building owned by one allied neighbor. This apartment is on the ground floor. The building's core surrounds it, including staircases and walls leading to other units. From an engineering standpoint, this apartment appeares to be the safest option.

Yet, this precaution is not enough. We find the need to further fortify our refuge. So, all the men worked together to get hundreds of sandbags for use as window barriers. Once stacked, they ensured windows have good ventilation. This will prevent shattering in an explosion.

The end result of covering the windows makes the place dark, but it is a necessity.

The darkness in times of war takes all hopes away, so we make sure to have enough candles on hand and to our happiness, my father, skilled in electronics. He uses multiple car batteries and cables to generate electricity. He connects them in a circuit to power a few lamps. This reduces our reliance on candles. It is an extra method to help us save on candles for the harder days. 

Telling you this makes me realize, that my father does not only have Pablo Escobar looks, his technical intelligence adds to the desire that every men wants to be him and every women 

wants to flirt with him.

But then, while the men are taking care of building the sand walls and generating electricity from car batteries, I remember the women busy stocking up on enough baking flour to make our own bread, the scarcity on bread because bakeries are shut down creates unrest, we lebanese eat bread as much as we drink water.  

This reminds me of how we used to secure more bread loaves than were allowed. 

During shortages, bakeries that are still open have limited supplies. Each family is allowed just one loaf. Lebanese people are good at finding loopholes. 

So, we adopt a strategy: 

waking up at 5:00 am to queue for bread with our neighbors. We are acquainted, but we pretend to be strangers. My father is just another person in the line, and my brother, a mere stranger.  

To add some fun, we sometimes start arguments. We even have playful scuffles while waiting. It is all in good fun to pass the time 

and a minute later we would stand in shiver when the militia trucks arrive to break our organized lines and take away the bread we have been waiting for. In these times we excused their cruelty thinking they must eat to be able to continue defending us.

When I look back, in the 70’s and 80’s life is less sophisticated and no one talks about sustainability, lucky for us back then. Our Stoves are on gas, It was easy to cook at all times as long as we have a gas canestre connected to it.

We also stock many canned foods. 

They range from corned beef to hotdogs, tuna, kidney beans, and green beans. We have plenty of rice, bulgur, and a variety of canned vegetables on hand. Additionally, we make sure to have cooking oil. 

And My mother, a very attent woman, never forgets to include Maria biscuits and Zig Zag chocolate, this is the lebanese version of Kit Kats. 

She also gets my favorite chocolate wafers, I couldn’t get enough of these delicious treats while staring at the candle light for hours, I mean there was nothing else to do.

Now thinking of it, I cannot believe we had all this food. I do remember that we never ran out of food. But, getting it was hard due to danger outside. 

If war broke out in Europe, we would need to unite. We must ensure our community has enough food.

Now, what about water? All the supplies are meaningless without access to water. Some days, drinkable water was scarce. 

Our solution is to fill empty whiskey bottles. We used bottles for Grant, Johnny Walker, and Famous Grouse. I am grateful. All men enjoyed a sip or 10 from these whiskeys in their long nights. They sat as the guardians of the galaxy watching over us, the children and the women as we sleep.

So We fill the bottles with boiled water. After leaving the water to sit in the sun for two days, it becomes safe to drink. Over time, we acquired special filtered bottles. They ensure a more reliable supply of clean water. And who says who can’t build a water filter business during times or war?

As for this This upcoming onrecommendation, I would say in 2024, it can be an outdated. Today I drive an electric car, as do many others. But even if we still have diesel or gasoline cars, the refueling system changed. In the 80s, we could siphon gasoline from one car into the fuel tank of another using a piece of hose. 

I remember being a passenger with ten jerry cans in the cars with my friends. It is fun. It is quite exhilarating. We would gather at the fuel station or the location tipped off by our insider. There, we could siphon gasoline from unused or damaged cars. Mike and “the lieutenant’ are our elder companions. They expertly moved fuel from one vehicle to another. 

Lieutenant is not his real name, but we have so much respect for him because he joined the lebanese army and got trained in the US. I don’t think he minded stealing fuel from cars, I guess being lebanese is a whole different level of a soldier.

In Lebanon it can also get very cold just like in Europe, we have not forget to stock up on warm blankets, cozy socks, and enough beanies to keep our heads warm. Most of blankets we received them in a package from the Unicef. I remember my mom’s feeling of triumph having scored such a goody box.

We also had a big salad plate plsced on the large coffee table, overloaded with lighters and matches, it is resting in peace next to the other salad plate filled with packs of marlboro, winston and Lucky strike. It seems back then cigarettes were among the essential stocking for the long days and nights of war.

Practical survival items are not the only important thing to do. 

Among them, we also cherish the decks of playing cards, reading books, and playing board games. These simple pleasures keep us, children, and teenagers alike, entertained day after day. We become champions at card games and backgammon. I'm sure we break world records playing sab3a w nos. It's a children's version of a poker game. We played it endless nights under the twinckeling light of one candle in the middle of the table.

In the grim times, we also share many laughs over silly moments, all together, grown ups and children. 

I have two memories, they stand out for me and I love to tell you about them:

One evening it is pitch dark outside. Not even the moonlight is shining. Bombs are falling around us, and our supply of candles is running low. We are in our neighbor's safe house. We grow bored and decide to make Lebanese coffee for all 20 gathere people, we see it a treat for them looking after us. 

I offer to go with my neighbor, Zalfa, to the kitchen so she wouldn't be alone. At the age of thirteen I think I am tough but bare with me as I will find out the truth about tougness in a minute. 

So I walk into the darkness with Zalfa in the direction of kitchen. In a flash, my sister's face appears before me. It is lit by a single candle. She asks in a spooky voice, "Do you want a candle, Mister Blore?" 

This line is from one of Agatha Christie's novels, "And Then There Were None." It makes me scream hysterically and flee in horror to my mother. I am lamenting my sister's prank.

Until the day of today, my sister finds it amusing as for me it is another bitchy act on her side. I still do not smile recalling it. 

On another occasion, as night fell, we all settle in for sleep, scattered throughout the house. Because I'm small, I sleep on a narrow folding camping bed. It is in the middle of a long hallway at the house's entrance. The boys had gone out to fight, and no one knows when they would return. Unexpectedly , the front door of the appartment silently gets open. A fighter, one of our allied families stumbls inside, exhausted. Unaware that it is  occupied, he collapses onto the nearest bed at the entrance. right on time, thankfully he notices me there before I suffocate beneath him. 

The next day, I am so embarrassed by the incident that I avoid him for the rest of my life.

And surely, before I forget, never underestimate one important weapon in the darkest abyss and largest cosmos: The flashlight. Each person needs several flashlights in their pocket and around the house. 

Here's another anecdote about flashlights:

One evening, it is quiet.. no bombing, no riffles shootings... My parents are still in the safe house, and my brother and I are longing to sleep in our beds and watch TV. After getting my parents' permission, we go to our apartment. 

My brother and I:

We decide to watch TV in the living room, each of us lying on a couch, and in front of the couches, there is the coffee table. And above this coffee table we swear a pact: 

My brother: "Roro, I will put the flashlight here on the table. When we hear the first bomb sounds coming in or going out, we grab the flashlight and go to the safe house."

Myself: "Sure, ma t3tal hamm. I got your back brother; I will do as you instruct me."

We are excited to watch our rented videotape. My brother and I love Jackie Chan movies, especially the early ones from China. This time, we rented 'Drunken Master' from the video store. 

We are smiling in anticipation of the funny scenes when suddenly, we hear a bomb landing. We jump off the couch in surprise. Both my brother and I want to grab the flashlight, so we bump into each other. Ouch! We hit our legs on the coffee table. After helping each other up, we run quickly to the safe house, screaming from the pain. When we arrive, our parents look at us horrified. They thought we are a casualty of the bombing.

The lesson learned from this is to remove obstacles that could injure you when trying to flee for your life.

My story is true. The many times we ran for our lives are true, and it may not resonate with you or even with me today. Yet, it is important to never forget that munitions nowadays are far beyond what we imagined in the 80s. But the humanitarian aspect remains the same. If we stick together and support each other, we should achieve higher security. We must do this by caring for each other's lives.

But, from what I see of Israel's actions in Gaza, I fear that if this is how war will be in Europe, we will die of hunger. Because this is the reality these days. In Ukraine, those in areas affected by ongoing war suffer. the soldiers. They lack food, water, and medicine.

Living in a city during wartime is like the stories in 'The Walking Dead' or 'The Last of Us.' I encourage you to watch these shows. They reveal the challenges and triumphs of people in hard times. 'Human depravity' highlights the dark side of human nature in crises. But it also shows the power of community.

My family, my neighbors and  I would not have survived the war without the strong bond we built and united together. Acting in our survival's best interest. And this last part is what the “de veldheren” exhibit in their episodes. Two military experts who know about real wars. They believe that we must behave better as human being to make the future safe after the war ends.

 So here I am in the theatre, This uncomfartble seat is killing me. I am looking around me and I see the cubik microfoon thwon all over the theatre hall, and I see people gfrabbing it and asking questions. I also see Mart and Peter move their lips answering them. But I don’t hear their voices, I don’t hear their noises. I am lost in my head.

Soon, I will be moving to a new city and a new house in the Netherlands. I must get to know my neighbors before it’s too late. I have to check on my canned food supply. I know I keep them stocked somewhere in the hosue, I want refill the expired ones. Do I have enough flour? Should I start testing my skills in making bread at home using the camping stove?

And I look to my right, my husband sitting next to me, looks like he is also cramped in his seat. His legs must be hurting even more than mine, well he’s not much taller than me, we both are not white dutch people, yet his seat is the same as mine, and I wonder… does he know how to siphon gasoline from a car and would he learn how to make light bulbs work from our electric car.. Oh no, we must buy a car on gasoline. In the menatime, I am glad we have his motrocycle batterie? I mean if he can do it, this could actually be very sexy… 

My head is spinning… I am still in the theatre, my thoughts are going from war survival kits to emotional loving feelings to my husband.

This shook me from my day dreaming and brought me back into hearing the voices in the theatre show.

I look at Mart de kruijf and peter van uhm and appreciate every word they are saying.

I am also thankful to the two military experts sharing safety and caring messages on what war will mean to Europe and the rest of the world if it happens today.

The show ends, and I walk out with the crowd, they are much taller than me. They don’t look like me and I wish I can get to know them all so we can be a community. After all, our presence in the theatre is our togetherness no matter what color we are or what societal class we come from.

I am so grateful to have survived the war and made it to live here in the Netherlands . This is my adoptive country and I am pouring my hopes and desperation in it. 

And if duty calls, I will even fight for it.